Friday, December 18, 2009

Escaping the Decadence of Monotheism: Neo-Muhammadanism and the Cuckoo Strategy

This clip may call out some strange imagining; some distant vision of myriad worlds, bound to geodesics like notes to melodies; some starless vision of alien oceans. We see sea life orbit in liquid ellipses; a thousand lives swimming, floating, like space debris, or the sounds in an unwritten symphony; soft against faintly-curved gravity, governed in the finest grain of time, like planets and stars under glass, and indifferent.

Naturally, I expected to see appreciative comments for this video, and truly appreciative, at the very least, for offering a moment's escape from internet inanity. I was, then, quite surprised to see comments such as the following, which follow this clip wherever it's posted.

1) Mixed feelings ... As a Scuba Diver I want to do nothing but get in there , But as a Person all I want to do is to put them back in the Sea where they belong . They are so wonderfull. But it dose WOW me.

2) It's so beautiful, but at the same time its very sad to know that those animals are stuck in a box with no freedom to swim where they wish, being surrounded by people who watch them all the time. It's sort of like prison to me.

3) Or you can look at it as cages and the animals can't escape. These animals are meant to have HUGE areas to swim in and swim miles and miles. They need that. It is not our right to take them away from their natural homes, no matter how it educates us. We can be educated through video and lessons, not imprisoning other species.

Of course, we know that no one really gives a shit about fish. This is an affected piety to signal one’s commitment to Gaiaism, which is a perversion of a perversion of Christianity.

It's disgusting that Christianity, the foundation of Western culture, has been contorted into these sickening, hyper-feminine worldviews; it becomes more intense and irrational once limits set by tradition and command are stripped away. Its permutability allows for markets and scientific revolutions, but its more strongly imprinted traits inevitably evolve, in the absence of religious dogma, toward totalitarian ideologies.

Mencius Moldbug brilliantly describes the metamorphosis of "mainline progressive Protestantism", the dominant U.S. denomination, into "Universalism" here. TGGP originally noted that Islam seemed the best fit for Moldbug's system.

Islam is a comparatively stable, immutable system, far less open to interpretation. The beliefs of a poor Muslim today roughly approximate those of a poor Muslim a hundred years ago. This stability comes at the cost of innovation, for which the Muslim world traditionally relied on conquered dhimmis through 500 years of Jihad. Once the main force of Jihad was smashed by a hammer - once the flow of dhimmi intellectuals ran dry - so too did the innovative ability of the Muslim world.

The Jihad, while it lasted, worked splendidly. The first step was to create a mob of sexually repressed adolescents, removing, through burqa chic, the possibility of seeing a woman; removing, through status-based polygamy, the possibility of marriage; promising, if they left living, the captured women of enemies; promising, if they left rotting, a paradise of 72 virgins; and finally, before any unbowed nation: let loose those sex-crazed hordes.

Their caste system was also quite innovative, allowing the Christian and Jewish populations of the Middle East to live and work as dhimmis who paid a special tax (the jizyah), providing much needed intellectual capital to those nations of rapist warriors.

Islam’s golden age and achievements were based on a core of these conquered intellectuals, dhimmi and newly converted, along with geographic access to the intellectual traditions of both East and West. The second-class status of this intellectual class inevitably destroyed it, and still destroys it, leaving Islam a religion of countries with three things that chill infidel blood: national average IQ's equal to those of U.S. child delinquents in the 1920's; nuclear weapons equal in power to those of the U.S. military in the 1940's; and a rage equal to that of the U.S. on September 12, 2001.

As Emerson said, “ … without great men, great crowds of people in a nation are disgusting; like moving cheese, like hills of ants, or of fleas-the more, the worse.”

The national average IQ of oil-rich Arab countries, such as Saudi Arabia, is disturbingly low. Only Muslim countries show this disconnect between wealth and intelligence, owing largely to being unearned ... and to the fact that "(i)n Iraq, Saudi Arabia, and Pakistan close to half of all marital pairings are between first or second cousins," and "Among Muslims in West Asia and North Africa, the ideal marriages are arranged ones with first cousins".

Still, Islam’s stability is its strength. We do not want a nation of freethinkers, as freethinkers won't be willing to kill infidels over cartoons. We want a stable mass of near moronity - the current average of the Muslim world is less than a standard deviation away - from which we can pluck hairy human suicide-bombs with too low a capacity for abstract thought to see irony in responding to this statement by the former Pope - "Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached" - with the following:

"At least five churches were attacked by Palestinians in the West Bank and Gaza. In the West Bank city of Nablus, firebombings left black scorch marks on the walls and windows of the city's Anglican and Greek Orthodox churches. At least five firebombs hit the Anglican church and its door was later set ablaze. A group called the Lions of Monotheism who said they were carried out to protest the pope's speech.

Later that day, four masked gunmen doused the main doors of Nablus' Roman and Greek Catholic churches with lighter fluid, then set them afire. They also opened fire on the buildings, striking both with bullets. In Gaza City, militants opened fire from a car at a Greek Orthodox church, striking the facade. Explosive devices were set off at the same Gaza church on Friday, causing minor damage. There were no claims of responsibility for the last three attacks.

Several organizations, such as Al-Qaeda and the Mujahideen Shura Council threatened in a joint statement: 'you and the West are doomed as you can see from the defeat in Iraq, Afghanistan, Chechnya, and elsewhere. ... We will break up the cross, spill the liquor and impose the jizya tax, then the only thing acceptable is a conversion (to Islam) or (being killed by) the sword. ... God enable us to slit their throats, and make their money and descendants the bounty of the Mujahideen.'

Employees of Ankara's Diyanet İşleri Başkanlığı (Presidency of Religious Affairs), the state body that organizes Muslim worship in Turkey, asked the authorities on September 19 to open legal proceedings against Pope Benedict XVI and to arrest him when he visits the country in November 2006. They said the Pontiff had violated Turkish laws upholding freedom of belief and thought by 'insulting' Islam and the Prophet
(sic) Muhammad."

"A previously unknown Baghdad-based group, Kataab Ashbal Al Islam Al Salafi (Islamic Salafist Boy Scout Battalions) threatened to kill all Christians in Iraq if the Pope does not apologize to Muhammad within three days. Christian Leaders in Iraq have asked their parishioners not to leave their homes, after two Christians were stabbed and killed in Baghdad.

There have been reports of writing in church doors stating 'If the Pope does not apologise, we will bomb all churches, kill more Christians and steal their property and money.'"

"The Iraqi militia Jaish al-Mujahedin (Holy Warriors' Army) announced its intention to "destroy their cross in the heart of Rome… and to hit the Vatican."

Despite the Pope's comments dying down in the media, attacks on Assyrian Christians continued and on 9 October, Islamic extremist group kidnapped priest Paulos Iskander. The relatives of a Christian priest who was beheaded 3 days later in Mosul, have said that his Muslim captors had demanded his church condemn the pope's recent comments about Islam and pay a $350,000 ransom."

We need warriors so exceedingly stupid that they'll blow themselves up in a room full of nuns to prove that Islam isn't violent (and get a shot at 72 cousins). Islam's stability is its strength - but its stupidity is its foundation.

If necessary, we can raise the rate of first cousin marriage, or even include sibling marriage, to lower the average IQ of our warriors as necessary. The use of burqas from birth, at all times - a minor but necessary revision - will circumvent the Westermarck effect. We will also need to relax the prohibition of music to some degree - our little tykes will need to do something to pass the time.

It is much easier to salvage a stable but flawed system than an unstable though formerly successful one. For that reason, we will tweak Islam, rather than Christianity, removing its design flaws and creating the world’s ultimate monotheistic, evangelistic, militaristic religion of peace: Neo-Muhammadanism.

Of course, a Neo-Muhammadanist Caliphate will necessarily be masculine, as would any designed not to drown in oceans of estrogen tears. Because in a world of universal, feminine empathy, your tears start to fall in strange fits of sympathy, till the day you reach out, with atrophied arms and finality, to type righteous pleas for the existential fulfillment of Japanese stingrays.

To solve the problem of the destruction of the intellectual class, we must provide an incentive for the dhimmis to remain dhimmis, and for high IQ Muslims to become dhimmis. We must spread high IQ genes through the Muslim population to prevent the intellectual decadence we see today, while at the same time leaving the idiot class intact.

We need this idiot class - it is the soul of Islam. It is not truly necessary for a society to have high average ability to be prosperous: recent research in "Smart Fraction Theory" shows that the relative ability of the society's brightest exerts greater effect than its national IQ.

Our method, then, becomes obvious: give dhimmis the droit de seigneur. We can justify this step superstitiously and religiously, or with some vague theory of Jewish conspiracies to kill devout Neo-Muhammadanists by means of virgin brides with polonium-laced vaginae. The dhimmis then become rather like royal tasters.

The droit will be given to the wealthiest and smartest of dhimmis. We imagine ten randomly selected virgins offered for every standard deviation from the mean in net worth or IQ (quarterly). Deflowerment will be viewed as Russian Roulette by the Neo-Muhammadanists, plagued as they'll be by images of shifty-eyed, hook-nosed Jews inserting glistening polonium pellets into ripening cherries, the surrounding skin tending to a sudden softening, a peeling; appealing, ripened - granted, yet dripping liquid carcinogens like skoal from hillbilly lips, all but glowing, permeating flesh and burqa, all but burning in rising metastatic masses, scraping and staining that lovely goat-skin gown.

To risk such horrors is clearly a task to be relegated to the lowly dhimmis, and those lowly, shrewd dhimmis will feign reluctance under those husbands' eyes, and under all eyes - save those of the deflowered? We may yet need to require fertility pills, or inform our loyal Neo-Muhammadanists that Jewish polonium requires several hours of direct contact over various days to cause death. The optimal fertility rate must be reached.

This is similar to the cuckoo strategy: brood parasitism. The cuckoo's eggs evolve quite rapidly to maximize success:

Many hosts of the Common Cuckoos, such as the Great Reed Warbler, learned to recognize the parasitic eggs and would simply eject the foreign eggs from their nests. The cuckoos countered by evolving eggs that mimicked those of the host. In fact, this mimicry is so good that one ornithologist had to use genetic markers to tell the difference between host eggs and parasitic eggs. The picture below is an excellent illustration on just how good this mimicry has become.

We can thus expect our half-dhimmi offspring to evolve to look like inbred Muslims, even while possessing genius-level IQ's. We want these firstborn, these who inherit their father’s IQ, these who are unafflicted by the defects of incest, to be capable of free thought and thus capable of rejecting this religion. We will thus change that sacred, holy, poetic command from, “If anyone changes his religion, kill him,” to “If anyone changes his religion, charge him a hefty exit tax.” In this way, only our high IQ Muslims can afford to become apostates, and our army of semi-moronic, bearded inbreds is preserved.

By the time Neo-Muhammadanism becomes a world religion (estimate: five years), gene sequencing will be widely available. We can then further improve the genetic potential of our dhimmi class:

“A recent advance in gathering eggs from women will make it much easier for choosey moms to give birth to geniuses. Two British fertility clinics have found a way of safely obtaining thousands of eggs from a woman. Fertility clinics, therefore, will soon be able to give a couple thousands of embryos to pick from. So let's say that a certain couple's genes mean that normally they have only a 1% chance of conceiving a child with the genetic potential to reach a genius IQ. With the ability to select among thousands of embryos, however, this couple could now almost guarantee that their offspring has the genetic potential of a genius.”

And apostates these geniuses must become. With proper breeding to maximize the Gini coefficient - or to effect some superior distribution -of IQ in the population, we will see huge differences in the IQ of the dhimmi-sired firstborn and his family. With a difference of two or more standard deviations between them, and a power-based family structure prone to honor killings - even in America - the bonds of love will not keep our chosen dhimmis from joining their apostate intellectual peers.

Neo-Muhammadanism also solves the problems of the West. Our smartest students have the lowest fertility; the declining fertility rate of Westerners in general presents rather difficult problems for the socialists. Neo-Muhammadanism solves both problems through its steady supply of the gifted to the crypto-aristocracy. The need for an aristocracy is readily apparent to any honest student of history. Thomas Jefferson said:

The natural aristocracy I consider as the most precious
gift of nature, for the instruction, the trusts and government
of society. And indeed, it would have been inconsistent
in creation to have formed men for the social state, and not
to have provided virtue and wisdom enough to manage the
concerns of society.

And it is not only the West in which the aristocracy is dead or dying. In 2005, a Japanese mathematician named Masahiko Fujiwara released The Dignity of the Nation, which became a bestseller. Takuan Seiyo, a European living in Japan, summarizes and responds:

Freedom, Fujiwara writes, has degenerated into nothing more than unrestrained egotism. Equality is a fiction, a lie used to mask a reality of great inequality, or to wield as a club in the constant class, race and gender skirmishes roiling the West. Globalization is worldwide homogenization, and not to the highest common denominator. And democracy is based on an erroneous assumption: that people are capable of making mature and informed judgments.
Only a governing elite can curb democracy's tendency to run amok, says Fujiwara. Members of the elite must possess four characteristics: a broad cultural and historical erudition, an ability to see "the big picture," exceptional strength of character, and sufficient love of their people and country to sacrifice for them their lives in an hour of need. Japan, Fujiwara adds, used to but no longer has such an elite. One of his greatest delusions is that Great Britain, France, and the U.S. still do.
Our high-IQ elite will be erudite, visionary, and will have had the strength of character to leave their lifelong religions. They will not, of course, have any love for their Neo-Muhammadanist nations, and would likely not even sacrifice one single whale shark, let alone their lives, to keep an ICBM from annihilating Mecca (and Medina). But, for this purpose, we have our blessed idiots. They won't sacrifice their lives to save the whale shark, granted, but they would gladly perish, in glorious martyrdom, to kill you if you call it Muhammad.

So one of the duties of our aristocracy will have to be outsourced, but outsourcing is all the rage these days, and our dhimmis are still closer to a new, true aristocracy than our dying democracies will ever bring us.

It's that damn democraphilia of our time (remove it from your mind), ever seeking equality at the expense of liberty. Here is where Neo-Muhammadanism shines, hiding those gifts of the aristoi, even offering them freely in the form of gifted first-born children, and thus removing the appeal of jealousy-based politics.

The tendency of democracies to harden into various cancerous, lobbying cartels is one of the main causes of the steady loss of vitality and economic decline suffered by all aging democratic nations, as explained in 1982 by Mancur Olson. Examine one of his theory's postulates, 27 years old:

Special-interest groups also slow growth by reducing the rate at which resources are reallocated from one activity or industry to another in response to new technologies or conditions. One obvious way in which they do so is lobbying for bail-outs of failing firms, thereby delaying or preventing the shift of resources to areas where they would have a greater productivity.

Brilliant. And where lies the escape from their grasping, stifling paws?

Olson says that Germany and Japan did well because their special interest groups were shattered by military defeat. When new labor unions formed in Germany and Japan, they tended to be very broad-based and therefore had an incentive in the overall welfare of their societies.

The constant warfare of Neo-Muhammadanist societies, in both victory and defeat, will destroy those entrenched power structures, those innovation-stifling special interest groups, those corrupted bureaucracies and corporations. Intense intergovernmental competition will lead to hypercompetition of militaries, which will lead to astonishing technological progress. The constant influx of intellectuals through expansions of borders, coupled with the high IQ breeding program, will lead to a new explosion of revolutionary scientists, and our holy military will provide fulfillment, adventure, employment, and population control to our proles, who will believe themselves elite.

All we need now is a prophet.


  1. L0Lz!! you spelled profit wrong! Dumb!

  2. I made the Mencius-to-Muhammad connection a while back.

  3. I've credited and linked to your post accordingly. And how illuminating ... so many insights that never occured to me while writing.

  4. IV: I really liked your post, and initially pointed it out to TGGP. It bothers me that Mencius has never confronted the Islamic implications of his philosophy, opining instead a faulty new philosophy based on the city state model.

    Still, while your prognosis is correct, I'm not sure if Islam can be tweaked in the way you suggest. Fundamentally, the strength of Islam comes from the very fact of its immutability - the gates of Itjihad have been closed for 800 years or so, and to open it up to enact your changes could very well break the whole system. Furthermore, the changes you suggest would create an unstable system, not an equilibrium - first, I don't think equilibrium is even possible, nor has it ever been in human history, there are winners and losers. Islam won, and the dhimmis were absorbed. With a small, rich, productive, and innovative group of dhimmis, the whole system of incentivization would be turned on its head and the stable system would collapse in on itself.

    The bitter pill is as follows: (1) embrace the suicidal, innovative, progressive West, or (2) embrace the backwards, barbaric (see some of those double amputation videos for thievary - horrible) but stable Muslim idiocracy.

    I'm leaning toward #2 in principle (but with respect from afar - no way I'd ever convert), only because the stakes are so high with the proliferation of nuclear weapons. Without nukes, another fall of Rome situation wouldn't be quite so bad.

    Oh, lastly - this analysis applies to Sunni Islam. Shiite Islam is virulent, incredibly destructive, and strives to bring about the end of the world so that their 6 year old Mahdi will return. In its deliberateness, it's far more scary than the Progressive West, which merely inadvertently puts forth the elements to bring about nuclear armageddon.

  5. I agree with JC that such a setup might be unstable. I'm going to digress a little here, but I'll come back. In "The Natural History of Ashkenazi Intelligence" Cochran et al hypothesize that the economic segregation in medieval (Christian) Europe resulted in selection for high IQ among Ashkenazi Jews. Their IQ is higher than their fellow Jews among the Sephardim & Mizrahi. Jews under Islam did not constitute the sort of elite you are discussing here (though some of them were indeed physicians & intellectuals), but often took many degrading jobs. Apologists for Islam often say that Jews were not as mistreated under Islamic rule as they have been in Christian Europe. This overlooks the fact that the middleman/market-dominant minority dynamics were not the same in the two areas (Armenians did constitute such a minority in the Ottoman empire and so suffered similarly to the Jews of Europe). If the Islamic majority is restrained from oppressing dhimmis (probably with periodic bloodletting) the dhimmi elite will come to be resentful of their status and cause similar problems you currently attribute to western intellectuals. If the Islamic majority does exercise violence against the dhimmis there's no guarantee it won't culminate in expulsion or genocide.

  6. First, many thanks for the high quality comments. Fluff and trolling have had less satisfying responses...

    I will attempt to address your objections in a follow up post in the coming days, which will also include a few ideas I didn't have time to include in the original, such as the incorporation of the Ottoman Jannisary system, the Mamluks, and the writings of Christopher Luxembourg, as well as an idea inspired by TGGP's book reviews: the prescribed burning of neocameralist city states.

    Until then, I've got a bit of shopping to do.